There are days where it hurts to function and I just want to stay hidden under my covers. And the only reason I am able to force myself to get up is that I can't let people see me broken. They can't know how much I'm torn up inside, that I'm in pieces. To them everything is okay and that's how I want it to be. 

so i havent written if forever

but anyway this summer has been really weird and slightly disappointing. my bf is at summer school all summer. my best friend is dealing with a family problem and wont tell me what so he's being distant and moody. my other friend who i practically saw everyday last summer barely talks to me now and has replaced me with someone else. i've been hanging with my friend n lately and we're both been trying to get into shape so that's good. 

but this summer just hasnt been the greatest (not to sound like a whiney brat) i feel so disconnected with everyone and lonely. i'm suppose to go visit one of my friends from school in texas and thats going to be really good esp cause shes transferring and not coming back in the fall. 

i'm scared for the new semester to start because i have like no friends and my best friend there isnt going to be there. i can't seem to get the grades. high school came so easy to me college well doesn't. i feel like such a failure and not good enough. 

i just feel so lost and confused right now. 

.

so this summer was going really well until my boyfriend had to leave for summer school, which sucks but i guess i can't really be mad at him but i hate how he's not here. he's only been gone for two days and i can't stand it. i miss him so much. i can't wait for him to come home tomorrow for the weekend.